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<h1>phil@bajsicki:~$</h1>
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<h1 class="content-title">On Problems</h1><span class="content-meta"><p class="date">2022-11-21</p><span>2 min read&nbsp;</span><a href="http://localhost:1313/tags/psychology">psychology</a>&nbsp;<a href="http://localhost:1313/tags/problems">problems</a>&nbsp;<a href="http://localhost:1313/categories/mind">@mind</a>&nbsp;</span></section>
<section><p>I had a fairly interesting conversation today with a young immigrant from Palestine to Germany.</p>
<p>The topics varied, but the major take-away from the conversation may be useful.</p>
<ol>
<li>You&rsquo;re okay as you are.</li>
<li>Being the problem is easier than being the one <em>with</em> the problem.</li>
<li>If you think you have a problem, sit, breathe and ask yourself: is it really <em>your</em> problem?</li>
</ol>
<p>In the vast majority of cases, it&rsquo;s really not yours. And if it doesn&rsquo;t impact you, are there reasons for you to handle it? When people act out and do things that are reckless, ill-thought-out, or just bad&hellip;</p>
<p><strong>It&rsquo;s not about you.</strong> They&rsquo;re acting out their own emotions, thoughts, and tensions that live in them. And if it really is about you, <em>they&rsquo;ll let you know</em>. And that&rsquo;ll give you a clear idea of how to address it.</p>
<p>Considering whether the problem <em>really is a problem</em> has been a major way I&rsquo;ve managed stress over the years. Most things are not problems, and most things can wait.</p>
<p>Or you can let them proceed to their conclusion without getting involved.</p>
<p>And if they are a problem, they might not be <em>your</em> problem. If it&rsquo;s not your problem, then you don&rsquo;t have to address it - unless you want to.</p>
<p>This also gives you relief. You don&rsquo;t <em>have to</em> handle it. It&rsquo;s not your responsibility.</p>
<p>You&rsquo;re okay as you are. Just sit back, relax, and let the dice fall where they may.</p>
<p>Stressing over things doesn&rsquo;t do any good - to you or to others involved. Keeping a clear head is by far the best way to handle things.</p>
<p>It even shows up in the ol&rsquo; OODA loop.</p>
<ul>
<li>Observe - <strong>take your time</strong> to see.</li>
<li>Orient - <strong>take your time</strong> to find yourself in the situation.</li>
<li>Decide - <strong>take your time</strong> to choose a direction.</li>
<li>Act - <strong>move fast</strong>, with the confidence that <strong>taking your time</strong> gives you.</li>
</ul>
<p>You don&rsquo;t have to rush in life.</p>
<p>Things will happen, are happening, and have happened.</p>
<p>It&rsquo;s okay.</p>
<p><a href="https://my.fsf.org/join">Join the FSF.</a></p></section>
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