I had a fairly interesting conversation today with a young immigrant from Palestine to Germany.
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The topics varied, but the major take-away from the conversation may be useful.
1. You're okay as you are.
2. Being the problem is easier than being the one _with_ the problem.
3. If you think you have a problem, sit, breathe and ask yourself: is it really _your_ problem?
In the vast majority of cases, it's really not yours. And if it doesn't impact you, are there reasons for you to handle it? When people act out and do things that are reckless, ill-thought-out, or just bad...
**It's not about you.** They're acting out their own emotions, thoughts, and tensions that live in them. And if it really is about you, _they'll let you know_. And that'll give you a clear idea of how to address it.
Considering whether the problem _really is a problem_ has been a major way I've managed stress over the years. Most things are not problems, and most things can wait.
Or you can let them proceed to their conclusion without getting involved.
And if they are a problem, they might not be _your_ problem. If it's not your problem, then you don't have to address it - unless you want to.
This also gives you relief. You don't _have to_ handle it. It's not your responsibility.
You're okay as you are. Just sit back, relax, and let the dice fall where they may.
Stressing over things doesn't do any good - to you or to others involved. Keeping a clear head is by far the best way to handle things.
It even shows up in the ol' OODA loop.
- Observe - **take your time** to see.
- Orient - **take your time** to find yourself in the situation.
- Decide - **take your time** to choose a direction.
- Act - **move fast**, with the confidence that **taking your time** gives you.
You don't have to rush in life.
Things will happen, are happening, and have happened.
